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The Noobie "Never do this" List

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  1. #1

    Default The Noobie "Never do this" List

    I started this thread and got some positive feedback.

    http://www.flopturnriver.com/phpBB2/...19.html#643445

    So I thought I would try one more. Never do this stupid crap. Never.

    1. Never, and I mean never dammit, never show your cards.

    I love it when villains show their hole cards. Usually, I just made a cbet against someone the HUD stats showed to be weak-tight, and usually they show me a hand that was ahead of mine. They improve my confidence in two areas: my reads are accurate, and my analysis of them being a donk-fish dumbass was correct.

    Remember this, every time you show me your cards, the HH goes into PT. When and if you ever seem like a decent player, I'll be looking at every big hand you played. If you show your cards when you don't have to, you just make my read on your game pathetically easy. Even if you show those cards in a hand I didn't play.

    2. Never slow play.
    This was from will in the thread linked above.

    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    honestly i think the best advice anyone can give for players at micro stakes is NEVER EVER EVER slow play. all it does is make you lose money. occasionally it works, but not very likely.
    Quote Originally Posted by Robb
    Excellent point. Virtually every time I've slept with Miss Slow Play, I've woken up hating myself in the morning, ready to chew my own arm off to get away from that coyote ugly bitch.
    You hit a set of kings at NL10. You want to check the flop. Don't. Just bet right out. If you don't, you'll be wanting to chew your own arm off, too.

    3. Never tell the truth about your hole cards.

    This goes with #1. If villains cry because everyone else is showing hands and I'm not, I start "telling" them what I had to pacify them. Or chatting "good fold" or something misleading. But I always think about the hand and try to misdirect them by offering some reasonable hole cards for the way the hand played out. But I almost never do this. When I do, trust me, I'm lyin'.

    4. Never give poker advice while you're playing, not even bad advice.

    I make notes on the "table pros" who chat relentlessly about hands, ranges, pot odds. They usually give a VERY clear picture of their thinking and level with a few comments. When they critique my play, I chat something like "pot odds? what are those?" and let them give me a lesson. Another fav: "How would you have played that hand?"

    By the way, the reason you're at FTR is to discuss hands here instead of at the table. If something interesting happened, post it here to get feedback. Don't educate you're opponents about what you were thinking.

    5. Never berate bad players when they suck out against your great hand.

    This is classic noobie tilt. Type "nh" and see what they do. If they type "ty", they're probably donk-fish. If they don't reply, watch out. They're probably just smart enough to know they were outplayed, and might learn something from it. This isn't original - Phil Gordon says it best: "Don't tap the aquarium."

    If you don't understand how to deal with bad beats, you'll never last in this game. Bad beats are what make poker work and keep the fish swimming toward the sharks. If you're a good player, you LOVE bad beats, or at least don't mind them for more than a second.

    I'm just listing the things I see all the time at NL10 that give me an advantage. I would like for others to chime in and offer some more "nevers" for the list.

    Good luck at the tables.
  2. #2
    will641's Avatar
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    cliff notes on robb's post: dont chat period.
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  3. #3
    I have in the past sometimes(maybe once or twice) on a turn of river semi bluff when they are doing the whole 30second decision, told them I would show my cards, and when they fold I don't, this tilts them HARD. Not really share if its +ev though, I tihnk in the long run all chat is pretty dumb unless it is saying hi to a FTRer.
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhappy333
    I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
  4. #4
    This is related to SNGs, but there are general points that relate to ring games as well. It's stickied in the SNG forum:

    http://www.flopturnriver.com/phpBB2/...-0-t41170.html
  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    cliff notes on robb's post: dont chat period.
    There are some times to chat. If you've got a big fish at the table who obviously loves to chat, but nobody is responding, keep up a friendly non-strategic conversation to allow them to keep having fun.

    I don't know how many times I've seen terrible players leave a table because nobody is talking.

    They are here to have fun, help them out. They will be helping you meet your goals as well. Everyone wins!
  6. #6
    But then you talk to the big fish and he thinks "I really like this guy I'll give him respect." Then he folds to your monster.
  7. #7
    bjsaust's Avatar
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    Best chat ever:

    "nh"

    when a fish sucks out. You gotta encourage those guys if you want them to keep reloading.
    Just dipping my toes back in.
  8. #8
    chat is good. chat about poker is bad.

    also I love "trust me, I'm lyin'."
    gabe: Ive dropped almost 100k in the past 35 days.

    bigspenda73: But how much did you win?
  9. #9
    Here's another "line" on chat for the multitablers out there:

    Hero: nh
    Villain: ty thought u were a bot
    Hero: i am a bot
  10. #10
    This goes with #1. If villains cry because everyone else is showing hands and I'm not, I start "telling" them what I had to pacify them. Or chatting "good fold" or something misleading. But I always think about the hand and try to misdirect them by offering some reasonable hole cards for the way the hand played out. But I almost never do this. When I do, trust me, I'm lyin'
    I usually just tell them I had "pocket elevens" or something similar.
    PLEASE READ ULTIMATE BET THREAD IN "ONLINE POKER ROOMS" FORUM
    Wait, this is .05/.10 and you got sexied, I can't believe that shit, limit must really be dying.[/quote]
  11. #11
    Back to the "don't do this" list

    DON'T PLAY DRUNK. repeat DON'T PLAY DRUNK. This seems obvious to most but I've lost 3 bankrolls (only of about £400-£500 - I say only, this is a lot) playing hammered.

    By all means have a few beers or a bottle of wine whilst playing, but don't get back from the pub after a 5-6 hours drinking and play poker. It only ends in tears.
    Normski
  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by WillburForce
    Back to the "don't do this" list

    DON'T PLAY DRUNK. repeat DON'T PLAY DRUNK. This seems obvious to most but I've lost 3 bankrolls (only of about £400-£500 - I say only, this is a lot) playing hammered.

    By all means have a few beers or a bottle of wine whilst playing, but don't get back from the pub after a 5-6 hours drinking and play poker. It only ends in tears.
    I find playing whilst tired equally (if not more) harmful to my roll. Every time I have donked off large portions of my roll it has been late at night / early morning when I'm physically and mentally exhausted.
    PLEASE READ ULTIMATE BET THREAD IN "ONLINE POKER ROOMS" FORUM
    Wait, this is .05/.10 and you got sexied, I can't believe that shit, limit must really be dying.[/quote]
  13. #13
    will641's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deanglow
    But then you talk to the big fish and he thinks "I really like this guy I'll give him respect." Then he folds to your monster.
    yeah that is the fucking worst thing ever when a fish likes you.
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Jibalob
    Quote Originally Posted by WillburForce
    Back to the "don't do this" list

    DON'T PLAY DRUNK. repeat DON'T PLAY DRUNK. This seems obvious to most but I've lost 3 bankrolls (only of about £400-£500 - I say only, this is a lot) playing hammered.

    By all means have a few beers or a bottle of wine whilst playing, but don't get back from the pub after a 5-6 hours drinking and play poker. It only ends in tears.
    I find playing whilst tired equally (if not more) harmful to my roll. Every time I have donked off large portions of my roll it has been late at night / early morning when I'm physically and mentally exhausted.
    Don't play sick. I did once and dumped a few buy-ins before I realized how crappy I was playing.
  15. #15
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Never subscribe to generalizations about things you should always or never do in poker.
  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    Never subscribe to generalizations about things you should always or never do in poker.
    Like this one: always use proper bankroll management.
  17. #17
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robb
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    Never subscribe to generalizations about things you should always or never do in poker.
    Like this one: always use proper bankroll management.
    There are always instances when it's correct to play with a larger portion of your bankroll than regular bankroll management would normally allow.
  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    Quote Originally Posted by Robb
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    Never subscribe to generalizations about things you should always or never do in poker.
    Like this one: always use proper bankroll management.
    There are always instances when it's correct to play with a larger portion of your bankroll than regular bankroll management would normally allow.
    I totally agree that poker is one big grey area, not black and white. Just trying to generate some interest for the post, and "here are some things you should almost never do" didn't sound as catchy.

    By the way, I'm just curious, do any of the top FTR regs EVER show cards for free? I've only done it accidentally, and cursed myself for being a bonehead.
  19. #19
    If I have been 3betting and rring alot, I may show a good hand somewhere in there to generate some respect (extremely rarely).
    "$80 million Submarine mansion. Think about it."
  20. #20
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robb
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    Quote Originally Posted by Robb
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    Never subscribe to generalizations about things you should always or never do in poker.
    Like this one: always use proper bankroll management.
    There are always instances when it's correct to play with a larger portion of your bankroll than regular bankroll management would normally allow.
    I totally agree that poker is one big grey area, not black and white. Just trying to generate some interest for the post, and "here are some things you should almost never do" didn't sound as catchy.

    By the way, I'm just curious, do any of the top FTR regs EVER show cards for free? I've only done it accidentally, and cursed myself for being a bonehead.
    I do quite a bit, especially if I have a marginal hand and I think that if I check through on the turn he'll bet worse hands often.
  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Robb
    By the way, I'm just curious, do any of the top FTR regs EVER show cards for free? I've only done it accidentally, and cursed myself for being a bonehead.
    I don't count myself amongst the top FTR regs, but I never ever show cards, I have automuck set on all my poker site clients. The only time I switch it off is when I'm playing the SNG experiments or other games against other FTR posters.
  22. #22
    I never show. One of the funniest things I see is guys that don't beleive I have the nuts and ask me to show if they fold. Why would I agree to show him the nuts if he folds?
  23. #23
    6. Never 2 barrel air without a GOOD read on villain (and overs).

    7. Never 3bet thin without a GOOD read on villain.
  24. #24
    The only time I show cards for free is if I am in the BB holding AA or KK and everyone (including the SB) folds to me. It makes them all happy they folded, and it really doesn't matter.

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