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 The Noobie "Never do this" List
I started this thread and got some positive feedback.
http://www.flopturnriver.com/phpBB2/...19.html#643445
So I thought I would try one more. Never do this stupid crap. Never.
1. Never, and I mean never dammit, never show your cards.
I love it when villains show their hole cards. Usually, I just made a cbet against someone the HUD stats showed to be weak-tight, and usually they show me a hand that was ahead of mine. They improve my confidence in two areas: my reads are accurate, and my analysis of them being a donk-fish dumbass was correct.
Remember this, every time you show me your cards, the HH goes into PT. When and if you ever seem like a decent player, I'll be looking at every big hand you played. If you show your cards when you don't have to, you just make my read on your game pathetically easy. Even if you show those cards in a hand I didn't play.
2. Never slow play.
This was from will in the thread linked above.
 Originally Posted by will641
honestly i think the best advice anyone can give for players at micro stakes is NEVER EVER EVER slow play. all it does is make you lose money. occasionally it works, but not very likely.
Originally Posted by Robb
Excellent point. Virtually every time I've slept with Miss Slow Play, I've woken up hating myself in the morning, ready to chew my own arm off to get away from that coyote ugly bitch.
You hit a set of kings at NL10. You want to check the flop. Don't. Just bet right out. If you don't, you'll be wanting to chew your own arm off, too.
3. Never tell the truth about your hole cards.
This goes with #1. If villains cry because everyone else is showing hands and I'm not, I start "telling" them what I had to pacify them. Or chatting "good fold" or something misleading. But I always think about the hand and try to misdirect them by offering some reasonable hole cards for the way the hand played out. But I almost never do this. When I do, trust me, I'm lyin'.
4. Never give poker advice while you're playing, not even bad advice.
I make notes on the "table pros" who chat relentlessly about hands, ranges, pot odds. They usually give a VERY clear picture of their thinking and level with a few comments. When they critique my play, I chat something like "pot odds? what are those?" and let them give me a lesson. Another fav: "How would you have played that hand?"
By the way, the reason you're at FTR is to discuss hands here instead of at the table. If something interesting happened, post it here to get feedback. Don't educate you're opponents about what you were thinking.
5. Never berate bad players when they suck out against your great hand.
This is classic noobie tilt. Type "nh" and see what they do. If they type "ty", they're probably donk-fish. If they don't reply, watch out. They're probably just smart enough to know they were outplayed, and might learn something from it. This isn't original - Phil Gordon says it best: "Don't tap the aquarium."
If you don't understand how to deal with bad beats, you'll never last in this game. Bad beats are what make poker work and keep the fish swimming toward the sharks. If you're a good player, you LOVE bad beats, or at least don't mind them for more than a second.
I'm just listing the things I see all the time at NL10 that give me an advantage. I would like for others to chime in and offer some more "nevers" for the list.
Good luck at the tables.
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