Randomness thread, part two.

[boost]

Soccer is like Twilight, the fans are delusional to the point that they convince themselves anyone who doesnt like it just doesnt get it, theres a whole lot of running around, and no one ever scores.


(I do enjoy watching a good match, and I played up til sophomore year of high school, but this joke is just too good!)

[kiwiMark]

did the least heterosexual thing of my life tonight <...>

<twilight joke>

1up'd

[Warpe]

Every Day The Same Dream | Armor Games

[kiwiMark]

Coolio. I beat it.

[jyms]

Every Day The Same Dream | Armor Games

Was that my wife that jumped?

[a500lbgorilla]

I'm pretty sure it's you. Or the very last carbon copy of you in the world.

[jyms]

Not if you win the game. I finished it.

[a500lbgorilla]

I walked up, in my underwear, behind someone on the edge of the roof who jumped off. The game then ended.

[a500lbgorilla]

[jyms]

Yea, that's the one I was talking about. I thought it was a tall woman in a skirt, but it's just me on the fence. Nevermind

[BooG690]

My wife WOULD leave me after getting fired. What a money-hungry whore.

[Carroters]

Well that was a waste of 10 minutes

[boost]

how did you get past your boss in your underwear? He tells me Im fired and I start over.

[a500lbgorilla]

After taking all 5 steps towards a new life, the world is devoid of bosses.

[bigspenda73]

Let me google that for you

[kiwiMark]

What the shit guys, at least get dressed for the final scene. Have some dignity.

[bigred]

Moved in with gf. Things are going completely awesome so far. I actually have food in the fridge, wine in my glass, and a made bed that is clean. Life is good.

[kiwiMark]

Moved in with gf. Things are going completely awesome so far. I actually have food in the fridge, wine in my glass, and a made bed that is clean. Life is good.

beat: you may as well sell the new xbox, amirite

[UG]

big step, but from what I've heard about her (supposedly she's awesome--I mean besides the whole being with you thing--but whatever), you'll love it. moving in with my GF (now wife) was really great, and still is.

right now, though, at this very second, she is hovering over the toilet. she felt shitty from weeks 6 to 11 and then the last five weeks or so she's been great. tonight we had a party, she's telling me that "some sort of food didn't sit right with her." yeeeeaaahhh right, you're pregnant woman!

GL, so much to look forward to, Ben!


P.S. As she was hovering over the toilet I did thank her for being awesome, for carrying my child and dealing with all the bullshit that pregnancy brings. Then I cracked another beer.

[a500lbgorilla]

big step, but from what I've heard about her (supposedly she's awesome--I mean besides the whole being with you thing--but whatever), you'll love it. moving in with my GF (now wife) was really great, and still is.

right now, though, at this very second, she is hovering over the toilet. she felt shitty from weeks 6 to 11 and then the last five weeks or so she's been great. tonight we had a party, she's telling me that "some sort of food didn't sit right with her." yeeeeaaahhh right, you're pregnant woman!

GL, so much to look forward to, Ben!


P.S. As she was hovering over the toilet I did thank her for being awesome, for carrying my child and dealing with all the bullshit that pregnancy brings. Then I cracked another beer.

LOL

Bigred, moving in will be awesome! Look at what happened to me and my pregnant wife.

The juxtaposition would spook me.

[a500lbgorilla]

YouTube - RSA Animate - Crises of Capitalism

An easy watch.

[bigspenda73]

Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters | Reuters

[wufwugy]

Holy wow I just heard the new Mel Gibson audio. That man has PROBLEMS. His career is OVER. You could try to say more cruel things than what he did, and not be successful

[a500lbgorilla]

Hey wufwugums

[jyms]

God I hate having to scroll Wuf's sig all the time off the page so my 6year old doesn't say "What's she doing?"

[bigred]

This is how I feel reading Wufwugy posts...

[UG]

Holy wow I just heard the new Mel Gibson audio. That man has PROBLEMS. His career is OVER. You could try to say more cruel things than what he did, and not be successful

my jaw hit the floor when he told her she was going to get "raped by a pack of n*ggers." holy shit. career = over

[Ash256]

link to gibson, me be lazy

[wufwugy]

Let me google that for you

[rong]

my jaw hit the floor when he told her she was going to get "raped by a pack of n*ggers." holy shit. career = over

Yeah, how many groups of people does this fuck wanna offend in a lifetime.

[JKDS]

YouTube - Recording of Mel Gibson's Alleged Racist Rant i found it!

[bigspenda73]

not sure where to post this, but 4chan stuffs the ballot box and sends Justin Bieber on tour to North Korea

Justin Bieber My World Tour - Faxo.com Vote Wall Contest

[boost]

note to self: When you have the remains from butchering fish and the stuff to be discarded from making stock/consomme and you need to throw it out in the middle of the summer with consistent 80°+ days, freeze the garbage, then take it out on garbage day.

Luckily garbage days is tomorrow, but right now there are several thousand maggots creeping and crawling out of my trash can in the alley. It seriously looks like a scene from some crappy horror movie.

[kiwiMark]

I didn't notice these posted on here, but maybe I just missed it. Really cool:

YouTube - RSA Animate - The Empathic Civilisation

Caution: If stoned, your mind may explode.

[Warpe]

note to self: When you have the remains from butchering fish and the stuff to be discarded from making stock/consomme and you need to throw it out in the middle of the summer with consistent 80°+ days, freeze the garbage, then take it out on garbage day.

Luckily garbage days is tomorrow, but right now there are several thousand maggots creeping and crawling out of my trash can in the alley. It seriously looks like a scene from some crappy horror movie.

Got an alarm system installed early last week. Discovered only last night that the installer unplugged our freezer in the process. Hauled a heavy Glad garbage bag full of stinking thawed meat (pork sausages, tuna steaks, chicken, etc etc) out to the trash can, along with another bag of non-meat items. Garbage pick-up not til Thursday. Prognosis?

[BennyLaRue]

Srsly, you're setting yourself up for massive projectile vomiting and fear-ridden stares from neighbours who think you killed your wife and stashed the body. Either take it to the dump or drive behind your friendly neighbourhood grocery store and donate it to their dumpster.

[BooG690]

How much to get you to eat it?

[UG]

Got an alarm system installed early last week. Discovered only last night that the installer unplugged our freezer in the process. Hauled a heavy Glad garbage bag full of stinking thawed meat (pork sausages, tuna steaks, chicken, etc etc) out to the trash can, along with another bag of non-meat items. Garbage pick-up not til Thursday. Prognosis?

alarm system installer better be coming back over with meat to put in your freezer, or $$$ to pay for what was lost. remember, though, you had only the finest quality meats in there, the real expensive stuff and lots of it.

[boost]

ya, if I were gonna do it again, Id either freeze the stuff, or put it in a garbage bag then twist the top closed tight, then use duct tape to make a really tight seal, then repeat this process at least 5 times to try to avoid any of the stench getting out as to not attract the flies.

And ya, that fuck face better be buying you a shitton of prime meat.

[Warpe]

Srsly, you're setting yourself up for massive projectile vomiting and fear-ridden stares from neighbours who think you killed your wife and stashed the body. Either take it to the dump or drive behind your friendly neighbourhood grocery store and donate it to their dumpster.

Great cover story tho, no?

Yeah, a midnight trip to a dumpster might be in order.

Did I mention the rampaging gangs of raccoons in my neighbourhood?

[Ash256]

do you have any neighbours you dislike warpe?

[Chelle]

my aunt highlighted my hair for free! it looks so prettyyyyyy!

[speedcake]

ya why didn't you just toss the shit in your neighbors can?

[BennyLaRue]

my aunt highlighted my hair for free! it looks so prettyyyyyy!

Gotta admit that before I looked at the name, I just assumed bigred posted this.

[Warpe]

YouTube - GlennBeck2012PresidentialPetition_0001.wmv

[boost]

youtube - glennbeck2012presidentialpetition_0001.wmv

biwf.

[UG]

5k!

[UG]

soooooo..............I'm going to be a dad, right? Question is, boy or girl?


IT'S A BOY, WOOOOOOOOT!

Found out today, and I'm so fcking happy it's ridiculous. Now, mind you, I thought it was a girl for the first 14 weeks or so. I was damn happy about that. I was looking forward to daddy's little girl, etc....I always wanted a boy but didn't care. Then the last 3-4 weeks I *knew* it was a boy, and was going to be kind of disappointed if it was a girl. Even the other night, the wife said, "the heartbeat and the weeks-along pair up with a girl..." And I said, "FUCK." The wife gave me the stink-face and said, "GEORGE!" and I played it off like I didn't care, was only kidding, I can't wait to have a girl......but inside I was really like DAMN.

Fast-forward to today when we find out, I'm ready for whatever. I look on the screen and think I see a little baby penis, but maybe not. A baby penis? Maybe not. Then the girl doing the sonogram clicks the mouse, points to the screen and says, "that's a penis." Wooooooooot! I actually yelled, "YES," and did a little fist-pump in the room. Wife was extremely happy too but I don't know if that was because I was so happy, or what.......either way I'm having a little boy. Hopefully he's not an asshole like bigred and his penis is bigger than 'rillas!

[supa]

congratulations

[a500lbgorilla]

woah woah woah, a penis as big as mine is a blessing and a curse. There is such a thing as too big.

[bode]

congrats UG! having a boy is awesome. My son is getting ready to turn 1 and is starting to roll a ball back and forth with me. I just cant wait until he can swing a bat!

[jyms]

Oh it gets better. My kid and I play cards (pokemon), bakugan, Mario Galaxy 1+2 and tons of other vid games and he just turned 6.

[BooG690]

And LittleBigPlanet. That's so ballin' to play video games with your kid. I want a kid now.

[Dreseethets]

Hey everybody. This is actually my very first post here and so I merely wanted to introduce myself personally and say hi.

[donkbee]

yeah I wouldn't want to have a daughter because I know how horrible raising a girl is.

[a500lbgorilla]

Like a boss:

Column One: A mathematical David stuns a healthcare Goliath - latimes.com

[bode]

And LittleBigPlanet. That's so ballin' to play video games with your kid. I want a kid now.

i cant wait until i have an excuse to play video games again

[rong]

I'm so gonna try and get my daughter in games like CoD & GTA..... actually no, fuck that, I don't know that I really want my daughter playing GTA, too much sex & sluttiness in it, but definitely up for CoD, killing is fine.

[Erowcappetaro]

Hello I'm a new user here. Just wanted to say hi.

[a500lbgorilla]

Hi

[givememyleg]

youtube - glennbeck2012presidentialpetition_0001.wmv

hawt

[ChrisBCritter]

I'm so gonna try and get my daughter in games like CoD & GTA..... actually no, fuck that, I don't know that I really want my daughter playing GTA, too much sex & sluttiness in it, but definitely up for CoD, killing is fine.

Um... you forgot your <sarcasm> tags...

[boost]

been building a motorcycle for the past two years. Started with a non running ~35 year old bike, took it completely apart including the entire engine. Just took my first ride on it earlier today. Ship it.

[Luco]

I just discovered a 1.5" cut along the side of my arm. From the looks of the scab it's a few days old but I have zero recollection of how it got there.

[a500lbgorilla]

I just discovered a 1.5" cut along the side of my arm. From the looks of the scab it's a few days old but I have zero recollection of how it got there.

Heroine?

[a500lbgorilla]

been building a motorcycle for the past two years. Started with a non running ~35 year old bike, took it completely apart including the entire engine. Just took my first ride on it earlier today. Ship it.

That's awesome.

[Luco]

Props to boost, and sadly no no drugs involved

[Warpe]

been building a motorcycle for the past two years. Started with a non running ~35 year old bike, took it completely apart including the entire engine. Just took my first ride on it earlier today. Ship it.

Pics please. I think you started a thread when you started this project.

[boost]

Pics please. I think you started a thread when you started this project.

I did, because I was super excited, but after thinking about it I decided keeping an updated motorcycle build log on a poker forum is pretty lame. I dont currently have access to a camera, but Ill try to change that. I wouldnt say the bike is cosmetically 100% done, but I want to get to riding, at the end of the season Ill tighten up some small details and whatnot.

[bigred]

Convo with my gf on ghat:

me: gotcha
i may or may not be drinking chardonnay in the airport
Anna: haha
cute
me: everyone else ordered bud lights
does that make me gay?
Anna: no, more just a douche
me: i'm wearing my french cuff shirt with my initials on the cuff
it is I....SUPER DOUCHE
Anna: dear lord
see, i'd love to monogram everything i own
but i could pull it off
me: should i complain that in manhattan they have 5 different kinds of chardonnay on every menu
WHAT
how can you pull it off and i can't?
i'm awesome
Anna: cause i just can



I can pull it off, right?!?!?!?!

[kiwiMark]

pics

[kiwiMark]

of you not her, no homo

[bigred]

k

me, jymz, and swiggidy



swiggidy is contemplating plato and stuff

[bigred]

but let's get back on topic, I can pull it off, right?

[a500lbgorilla]

of you not her, no homo

I'm not sure you understand what no homo means.

bigred, you should definitely monogram everything, but use fake initials on every article of clothing. You'll be awesome in 2 ways. 1) It's a natural deterrent against would-be identity thieves and 2) You'll be very mysterious.