Well thanks for being nice and respectful guys. I was really afraid this thread would come off as a "whine thread" something that I'm notorious for in my skype groups but hopefully it hasn't come this way.
Oh, and this... noone here cares if you want to whine, so long as there's a point. Your OP is detailed and honest, you don't profess to know more than you do, you accept your failings. That's what's important. Your tone is that of someone who wants to improve and is willing to hear brutal truths without crying about it.